Ron Away: Episode 2

Ron is in his room, in front of his computer. He is talking with Simon through the phone about a weird dream he had.

Ron: I was in a subway station. I've been waiting for 30 minutes. Suddenly, something like 30 people came on the opposite side with sleeping bags. They all started to make their beds on the rails, and went to sleep. I could hear the subway coming, but they stood still! They started to cry, and the people next to me ran away, scared of what they were going to see. There was no way out, and no telephones to call the cops or security. Then, the subway ran over everyone...And I woke up!

Simon: Oh my dog!

Ron: I Know! I still wonder why it happened...

Simon: Dude, you gotta go see a shrink or something.

Ron: I thought about it, but I don't want to get treated like an ATM machine.

Simon: Well, If you wanna talk about it...

Ron: You're there for me! I know Simon, and i'm glad you are, trust me! I just can't figure out a way for you to come and transform my dream into a fairytale.

Simon: Yeah, that's true! Forget about it then, I'm not there for you!

Ron: At least you've been there for 5 seconds!

The second phone line rings.

Ron: Dude! I really gotta go, my mom's on the other line. Seeyazzoon!

Simon: Yeah whatever!

Ron switchs the line.

Ron: I mom!

Ron's mom: I dear! How are you?

Ron: Pretty good ma'am! And you?

You can hear Ron's step father Rudy, yelling in the back.

Rudy: Hey son! Tell your mom i'm drunk. Gnahaha grrrr.

Ron's mom: Rudy! Would you please stop? Don't you call me ma'am, and I'm good by the way!

Rudy: Tell Ron to tell you I'm drunk! Gnahahah.

You can hear Rudy clear his throat and spitting.

Ron: I was just kidding, so get to the point please, i'm busy!

Ron's mom. Oh dear... You're at work? I was just gonna ask you if you found a job! So tell me about it!

Rudy: I can drop my pants off gnahahahah.

Ron: Well, I'm a micro-manager...

Ron's mom: Wonderful dear, but what's that?

Rudy: What's what? Answer me you damn bitch!

Ron: Well, I micro-manage stuff so I can be...good at the stuff  I manage...

Ron's mom: Oh wow! It looks amazing! Do you like it?

Rudy: Of course I like dropping my pants! I just hate it when you make me wait gnahahaha!

Ron: Oh yeah! I mean, I can work at home, so it's pretty great, y'know?

Ron's mom: I'm so happy for you sweety, but I gotta go! So... Please come home once in a while! Me, Rudy and William would be sooooo glad to see you!

Rudy: I would be glad if you could just fucking get on your knees!

Ron: Yep, definitely, I still got some clothes to wash and I'm out of butter, so I'll be seeing pretty soon!

Ron's mom: For sure I...

Ron hangs up the phone and starts to play on his computer.

Ron: Yup, being good at Starcraft 2 is a full time job!

Ron Away: Pilot Episode

-Manager: So, Mr. Cormac, you've mentionned on your resumé that you had a lot of experience with dead people. Have ever worked in a funeral home?

-Ron: Not exactly, I've just killed a lot of people in my life.

-Manager: Excuse me?

-Ron: Yeah! Yesterday, I went into a small village called Brightfall, and I shot 14 kids with my rifle! After that, I went into a house, danced with the owner's wife, burned her and I stole her money!

Scared, the employer presses on the intercom button and starts to talk.

-Manager: Attention please! I would need some...

Ron removes the wire from the telephone.

-Ron: Ma'am! Don't be scared! I can show how I do it if you want! You know, it's really easy, even for someone like you! Peter Molyneux wanted the third one to be more accessible, so I guess you would be able to do it too!

-Manager: Ok...who is Peter Mollynou? Please explain to me what is going on!

A waitress comes in the office.

Waitress: You wanted something dear?

Ron: Oh yeah, two wawa please!

Waitress: Wawa?

Ron: Yeah! Never heard the word before? Don't you know about Knox?

Waitress: Knocks?

Ron: Yeah! Well, I guess you didn't... ''Wawa'' means water. So...Two wawa please. Temperature of the room, if possible.

Waitress: Ok...


Confused, the waitress leaves the room. Ron gets off his seat.


Ron: You know, you should give it a try sometimes! Anyways, I gotta go now. I still got some more questing to do, and I'm gonna kill all of those fucking gnomes, I swear!

Ron steps out of the office and stops by the reception room.

Ron: May I speak with your boss?

Receptionnist: Do you have an appointment?

Ron: No, just a message. Tell him that his manager is in desperate need of fun and that he should buy her an Xbox or Ps3, but not a Wii cuz it sucks granny brains. Well... Wait! While I think of it, maybe a Wii would do! To be honnest with you, she looks like dead whale and she should move out of the office from time to time, you know?. Maybe do some Wii Fit or something!

The waitress comes by.


Ron: Hey waitress! I won't need the wawa, but you can give the manager two bottles, she looks dry!

Ron walks out of the job counseling building to meet his friend Simon.


Simon: Hey man! How did it went?

Ron: Well, I told her about my Fable III exploits and I scared the shit out of her.

Simon: Aww man! Brightfall again? Dude... It's your eleventh time since last week! You won't get a job if you act like an ass!

Ron: Simon, I'm an ass!